Social Fertility – more jingle balls than jingle bells!

Christmas is nearly here.  Usually I dreaded the season because looking around at all the couples, the newly weds, the newly engaged, the soon to be engaged, the new parents proudly bringing the new arrival to Christmas lunches with friends it hugely magnified what I was missing and wanted most, my own family.  

I was recently introduced to the term ‘Social Fertility’ which is when you’re longing to have a child, but you don’t have a partner –  aptly highlighting this as a real struggle that can often be brushed aside and not given the same empathy as those with more traditional fertility issues. This is very much true at Christmas as boozy lunches full of good intentions are filled with cheerleading assuring you that ‘you’ll meet somebody’ etc.  But the reality is, maybe you will, maybe you won’t, or maybe you will meet that special person but just not in time!

Two years ago was my saddest Christmas when I had just gotten test results telling me my fertility statistics which really weren’t great.  Last year couldn’t have been more different, when I was simply delighted to be ‘with child’ :).  This year I’ve won the absolute lotto with Baby Frank, my little dreamboat who literally lights up my life every day with his cheeky little smile proving that sometimes it really is worth playing the odds!

For the pandemic Christmas that’s in it, I’m sending positive fertility vibes to all the Mommas in the making out there, whether you’re going it alone, with a partner, or just thinking about what might be in the future.  Also, if you are chatting to any single pals this year about their longings to be a parent, be sensitive to the fact that not everybody gets the fairytale wedding that we expect from movies, and books, and that’s ok.  Life can still be great and you can still get everything that you want.  Just think it, want it, and go get it for yourself. 

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